The Question Is

  The Question Is

  Choose Your Own Romance

  series

  Book 3

  KENNA SHAW REED

  Other books by Kenna Shaw Reed

  When one happily ever after is not enough, Choose Your Own Romance.

  Book 1, The Uni Student : Ava finds not all her decisions at university are academic.

  Book 2, The Intern : Jade must choose between love and power – or does she really have to choose at all?

  Book 3, The Question Is : Two lovers and one choice. Her girlfriend? Ex-boyfriend? Or both! Grace had the answer until the question changed.

  Book 4, The Politician’s Wife : He lied, cheated and left. Susannah deserves better, has found better but now he wants her back.

  Book 5, The Unfaithful Wife : Nina was a faithful and forgiving wife until her husband’s latest affair.

  Book 6, The (Un)Forgiving Wife : When Juliette discovers her husband’s decade-long affair, she must decide whether to forgive or move on.

  You don’t want to miss these Bad Boys & Good Men

  Book 1, Trusting his Heart : Geoffrey was once in love. She died. If he can’t believe in a happily ever after, why should he even trust his heart to try.

  Book 2, A Billion Reasons Why : Billionaire Mason hid from his name only to find Ellin, but when she discovers the truth, will she ever love him again?

  Book 3, Never Second Best : When Seth’s wife left, he vowed never to be second best again. Lucy was once Seth’s second choice. How can he convince her that their love deserves a second chance?

  Book 4, Who is Erebus? : He steamed up the sheets in The Intern. Now, if she found out … if she ever knew … could Felicity love the man his clients called Erebus?

  Want the inside goss on new releases and giveaways? Join my newsletter and as a thank you, I’ll send you my prequel, Professed Love. K

  To the Australian public who voted overwhelmingly in support of same sex marriage. This book was inspired by the outpouring of love and support for love and equality. I have never been so proud as when the results were announced and the politicians were forced to accept Love is Love.

  To all my LGBTQ friends and peoples everywhere, may you:

  Lie on a bed of roses,

  Embrace your own desires,

  Immerse yourself in love

  Above all, my thanks and love are for Mr Reed Shaw. You are my every dirty, sexy, fantasy.

  Copyright © 2018 by Kenna Shaw-Reed

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Cover: Megan J Parker-Squiers

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are solely the product of the author’s imagination and/or are used fictitiously.

  This book is intended for mature, adult audiences only. It contains sexually explicit and graphic scenes and language which may be considered offensive by some readers. This book is strictly intended for those over the age of 18. All acts of a sexual nature are completely consensual.

  Table of Contents

  Part 1: Memories Reunion

  Remember when

  A night to forget

  Forget me not

  Part 2: Reality My girl

  Once is never

  One is not enough

  The candle burns

  Lying eyes

  Part 3: The answer is … River of tears

  Run through rainbows

  Partner in pleasure

  Whatever makes her happy

  Wait, there’s more Chapter 1: Mouth of Babes

  Part 1: Memories

  Grace

  The long dark fringe fell across Sienna’s sleeping face as she lay snuggled in Grace’s arms. Careful not to disturb her, Grace reached over to stop the incessant buzzing from the alarm. Torn between wanting to wake her for their own pleasure and allowing at least one of them to sleep in, she gently unwrapped their intertwined legs, kissed her lightly before quietly getting out of bed.

  Still wiping the sleep from her eyes, she tapped her short fingernails on the bench waiting for her laptop to load and the coffee machine to start up.

  One look at her emails coming through from the United States and Europe overnight and she sighed. Already, today was going to be a long one. Too much to do, and no one to delegate it to. The sooner she got to work, the earlier she could come back home to her eastern Sydney apartment and a girlfriend who would never understand her job.

  “How is it rich people never have enough money and always need to make more?” this from her pixie dynamo Sienna who gave away a promising law career to work in youth advocacy. “You spend all your time, killing yourself to do what?”

  “Sometimes, all I do is bring home the paycheck for you to spend,” Grace teased at the time, “Other days I help save a company from going under and stop their staff from losing their jobs.”

  “Grace, financial advisor and my hero.”

  Grace made the money, Sienna saved their conscience. Still, nothing made it easy to leave the sleeping Sienna and their comfortable bed. This morning, she had repeatedly hit the snooze button until once more would mean no time for coffee. Unthinkable!

  Running out of time to catch her train, Grace downed the rest of her coffee, splashed cold water over her face and quickly combed her own cropped blonde hair. Her olive skin only needed a light covering of foundation while the smoldering charcoal shadow and mascara bought out the depth of her green eyes.

  Corporate grey jacket, fitted skirt and bright red high heels and she was ready for the day.

  “Missed you,” the text arrived before she got to the train station. She imagined Sienna’s dark eyes, still full of sleep as she rolled over and found the bed empty.

  “Early morning meeting, go back to sleep,” she replied, smiling as the train doors opened and she could finally think about the invitation.

  Grace received the message last night and would normally share it with Sienna. Check their calendars and respond. Instead, she held it to herself, afraid of Sienna’s reaction. And her own.

  “Gracie girl – five years already. Coming home for the reunion?” Someone better organized than Grace decided on a last minute high school reunion. Now, old friends were messaging her, hoping she would turn up.

  She smiled and typed, “Hell Yeah!”.

  It would be great to catch up with everyone. To find out where they ended up and hang out with them again. Despite Sienna, she found the city a lonely place where her oldest friendships were only five years.

  Her finger rested over the send button.

  Sienna would never agree to going home. She loved their life here, without distractions and without coming face to face with memories of Grace’s life before them.

  Would her home town and old friends be willing to accept the new Grace? The Grace who would be arriving in a small country, conservative town, with Sienna by her side and in her bed.

  The Grace without Seth.

  If she asked Sienna, the answer would be “no”. What was the saying, act first and seek forgiveness later?

  Finger still hovering over the button, new arrivals on the train bumped into her.

  Message sent.

  “Ow,” she cried out as kids pushed past her with their school bags.

  “C’mon Jenna,” called one boy to a smaller girl, pulling her on the train as the doors were closing. “You always make me late,” he yelled at her before leaving for his friends.

  More children piled into the carriage, shoving the girl who dropped her bag. As her lunchbox and books spilled across the floor, the little girl burst into tears.

  “
It’s okay,” Grace knelt to pick up the belongings before they became scattered. If it was hard for her to get out of bed and ready for the day, how much harder would it be for those parents managing their own jobs and trusting their children would find their way safely to school.

  “Are you alright?” she asked, helping the girl up and to a seat.

  “Thank you miss,” the girl’s shy smile brightened her day and tugged at Grace’s heartstrings. Life with Sienna would be perfect if only they wanted the same things out of life.

  “I don’t see why we can’t stand in front of a minister and our families and commit to loving each other?”

  “If you love me, you don’t need a piece of paper to prove it,” Sienna with the logical argument.

  “Being married will make it easier for our children.”

  “Who said we need children – we have each other.”

  There, that was the issue - their sole but passionate source of disagreement. Grace had always loved children and was the town’s most reliable baby-sitter. Now in her mid-twenties she felt the urgent need to nurture and raise her own. She didn’t care who would carry the babies – only that their children grew up with loving parents.

  Unfortunately, Sienna didn’t feel the same and it caused the only argument with no conclusion.

  “I don’t know why you can’t understand,” Sienna patiently explained. “I’ve already raised a bunch of brats.”

  “Your brothers turned out great.”

  “No thanks to my parents who spent more time on their missions than raising us. I was the only mother they could rely on.”

  “Having our own children will be different.”

  “How? You’ll be off at work and I’ll be home raising the kids I didn’t want in the first place.”

  No matter how Grace tried to show how much being a mother meant to her, Sienna saw being parents as giving up her life and not for her.

  Therefore, not for them.

  Ahhhhhhh, a lifetime of never holding her own baby in her arms. Never watching the wonder in her child’s eyes as a butterfly danced across the flowers or the having the peace of coming home to read bed-time stories or have family board-game nights.

  In the heat of their fights, Grace wanted to call Sienna selfish, but in truth, Sienna was the most selfless person she knew, having found her life’s purpose working with under-privileged youth at risk of either dropping out of the system or at risk of homelessness. She spent almost every waking hour fighting for every child to have access to safe education and housing.

  Then, in her spare time, Sienna provided legal advocacy for LGBTQI people who needed a lawyer on their side who wouldn’t charge them an arm and a leg for their dignity or their human rights.

  In ways her complete opposite, allowing Grace to be the sensible one who organized the rental inspections, insurances and holidays. The one wanting commitment and babies.

  Sienna was carefree, happy to live together, love together and face every day as a new adventure. Only logical when arguing against Grace’s emotional need to become parents.

  Sienna. The love of her life. The reason for every smile for the past five years.

  “Miss,” the boy from before tapped her on the leg.

  “Yes, is your sister okay?”

  “She said you helped her.”

  “A little, she was very brave.”

  “Thank you. I should have been looking after her, she’s my responsibility when we go to school.”

  “You’re welcome, sweetheart,” she called after him as a mass of school children pushed past her to get off at their station.

  Other people’s children. She would be an amazing mother, if given the chance.

  Sienna

  Sienna sent a series of heart emojis back to Grace, ending in with a green apple. No one else would understand.

  “Why did you want apples?” Grace asked her after the first time she sent the emoji.

  “I didn’t. It was for you.”

  They played a version of twenty questions as Grace worked out what the clue meant.

  Every time she got the answer wrong, she had to lose an item of clothing. Each time she got an answer correct, Sienna lost something.

  Finally, Grace lay giggling on their bed having to choose between her white bra or thong panties. “Are you nervous?” Instead of answering, Grace pulled out the bottle of baby oil and started pouring it on her body.

  “I give up, tell me what it means and take your reward.”

  “Not fair!” she grabbed the bottle and tipped it over both of them.

  “Careful!” Grace cried, “You’re making a mess.”

  “I don’t care. That’s what the apple was about. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, students give teachers an apple.”

  As Sienna crawled on top of her girlfriend, she kissed the puzzled frown, “Don’t you see … you are the apple. You make everything good, your heart is the most precious gift and you are the apple of my eye.”

  From that time on, heart emojis meant love, apples meant so much more.

  After sending the message, Sienna wanted to go back to sleep but instead, stretched out, enjoying this time when she had the whole bed to herself and thinking about her day.

  She lived the perfect life being able to put her legal studies to use helping people who the system either ignored or actively worked against. Her against the world, on the side of good versus evil.

  The first meeting was a lunchtime appointment at a school, representing a teenage girl who wanted to wear any part of the school uniform to school – the trousers or skirt.

  “My friend got expelled for wearing the trousers. It isn’t fair. Someone needs to stand up for girls who aren’t comfortable in dresses or skirts. If the trousers are part of the uniform, they should be part of the uniform for everyone.”

  An intelligent, articulate young woman wanting to make a stand. Her parents were backing her on behalf of not only Sadie’s friend, but other students. Sienna loved Sadie’s energy, but only took the case after a number of conversations with the parents to make sure they understood the potential risks to their daughter’s reputation within the school.

  “We trust you,” the father told her, “The school policy is outdated and wrong. Get it changed but give the school a chance to save some face. We need a real win-win here for the school and Sadie.”

  “The school may retaliate.”

  “They might try, but someone has to live the road less travelled. Sadie has our full support.”

  Challenge accepted.

  From the first time Sienna looked at Grace as more than a friend, she knew her life was no longer on the easy path. Her Catholic high school laid out the expected future. Good boy meets good girl, parents are happy and all they had to do was grow up, marry, have babies and repeat the cycle.

  Sienna threw that path away when she applied to go away for university. She broke up with her boyfriend on the train platform as they said their goodbye.

  “If you were going to break up with me, why now? Why keep me around during summer break?”

  “I didn’t know until now. I’m sorry.”

  “Where does you being ‘sorry’ leave me?”

  “Isn’t it better that we break up now? Go our separate ways. I’m off to uni and I think I’ll come back, but what if I don’t?”

  She had done him a solid – going back for his engagement party six months later, he looked happy and by then she had Grace on her arm.

  Sienna rolled over, remembering the delicious night when she walked into the local golf club. Her long, warm brown hair now cropped short, into a pixie style, edgy cut. The soft, feminine dresses she used to wear replaced by boots and cut off shorts showing off the legs she used to hide and now Grace couldn’t keep her hands off.

  At the time of the engagement party, their love was new. The idea of being with a girl was still exciting and the sex mind-blowingly different to anything she thought possible.

  In five years, nothing ha
d changed.

  From their first week at university and living in the same college building, they had a connection. Instant friendship – instant everything. Both new to the city and university, Grace somehow knew what she wanted or how she felt before she knew it.

  They started off sharing food and laundry duty, finding it easier cooking for two than cooking for one. Once they realized that they shared most of the same classes, pairing up for study groups became a no-brainer.

  When three city boys joined, it seemed as if their group was complete.

  Missing home and her ex, Sienna had a one-night stand with one of the group – but it was a dismal failure. Hooking up because they were bored and lonely didn’t work. He was too interested in his own good looks to be interested in her. She … well … he wasn’t the study partner she was dreaming of.

  Grace, best friend. There for the lonely nights when Sienna missed her family and pets and even the sound of the local postman who still rode his bike down the local streets. Grace came baring hot chocolate when she needed something warm and comforting. She’d call out for coffee to finish an assignment, but Grace knew what she really needed – a hug and chocolate with a dash of chilli powder.

  It became easier to crash at each other’s houses when the study went late. Two friends on a bed chatting until they fell asleep. They spent so much time together that their friends started joking about them being a couple.

  Falling in love, unexpected, unplanned, and unbelievably perfect.

  “How do you know you are, what a lesbian?” her mother threw at her when she came out.