The Question Is Read online

  Sienna returned the hug and nodded.

  To Grace he stood in front of her until she hugged him, “Gracie, what can I say.”

  “You can promise me breakfast tomorrow – suit and tie,” she laughed, “We are ready. We can do this.”

  The Monday morning meeting was a success. Grace impressed the junior partner who offered some advice on how to tighten the messaging but otherwise supportive. They briefed the senior partner who then placed a call with Derek Casbar to assure him that the proposal had his full support.

  The Tuesday breakfast meeting ended up being a non-event. Derek had spent the weekend doing his research on Seth and the company. He understood why the previous deal fell through and was all over the proposal.

  By lunch time, with contracts successfully signed, Seth had everything in place to take back to his business partners.

  Grace walked him down to his car, scared she was about to say “good bye” to him forever.

  “Seth,” she started, wanting to touch him one last time, knowing they were in full view of her office.

  “Gracie,” he started trying to find the words.

  “I …”

  “I know. Not today, okay?”

  She nodded as he continued. “It’s been a wild weekend, and I owe you a debt that I can never repay. I don’t want to lose your friendship, but I also want more than you can give me at the moment.”

  “Seth, I need …”

  “Gracie,” his lightest touch on her arm electrified her. “I’ll call you in a week. You can take it as me checking in on the deal, or you can take it as me wanting to be in your life in any way that you will have me.”

  ? ? ?

  Grace needs to decide if Sienna is still My girl

  Or has Seth reminded her that Once is never enough

  Is she torn between her two lovers and decided One is not enough

  My girl

  Grace

  “Seth,” she said, her heart pounding. He would always affect her in this way. She didn’t want to hurt him but he needed to know her future remained with Sienna.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” he let go of her arm, “What we had that night was amazing. No regrets. I think I’ve loved you almost all my life and I’m so glad we were able to work together for the past few days.”

  “It’s not over yet, I still need you,” he turned, running his hands through his hair. She wanted to reach out and comfort him, but the words needed to be said.

  “As long as you need me, I’ll be there,” he turned back and she tried to smile, “I promise you I’ll never abandon you. But, you saw Sienna and me together – you saw how great we are and how happy my life is.”

  “With her.” A statement, not a question.

  “Yes, with Sienna. I know we have a couple of things to work through but I want to, she is worth it.”

  “Well,” the look of a defeated man, not one that saved his company, “I guess I should say ‘thanks’ and ‘good luck’ to you both.”

  Sienna laid out a romantic dinner for them both. The white table cloth they only used for special occasions was adorned with the good cutlery she inherited from her grandmother. The crystal glasses awaited the best of their cellar and the candles threw off soft lighting.

  Grace smelt the incense as she opened the door, and couldn’t wait to find her beautiful girl inside their tiny unit.

  She smelt the roast dinner in the oven – her favourite and something they rarely had time to make during the week.

  Soft music came from the bathroom where Sienna lay covered beneath a cloud of bubbles in the bath.

  “Well, someone has been busy,” as Grace leant down to kiss her, Sienna grabbed her and pulled her into the water, laughing as bubble and water splashed all over the floor.

  Grace spluttered as she came back up for air, craving the smoothness of Sienna’s body beneath her.

  “So, are we celebrating or commiserating?” Sienna asked as she started pulling off Grace’s clothes.

  “Depends on what you mean. Do you want Seth out of my life completely or do you want me to have closed my first big client and deal?”

  “Honey,” for the first time in ages, there was no jealousy in the kiss, “As long as I’m the only one in your bed, Seth can be your client or your friend. I don’t care. I want you to be happy.”

  “Then we are celebrating,” her top completely removed and she waited while Sienna dived below the water to remove her skirt and pants. Their naked legs intertwined, “The guy I told you about, Derek Casbar, is putting together a deal for us. Seth has his money for this project and Derek wants to work together setting up something else for one of his other clients.”

  “So, my girl made Seth a happy man,” as she lay in Sienna’s arms, Grace tried to forget the image of being with Seth in her arms. A mistake, never to be repeated.

  “Well, his company will survive. I’d say my boss is happier – we signed a new client and he can see nothing but billable hours in my future.”

  Sienna’s mouth closed around hers, the urgency of her quest obvious.

  Grace scratched up her legs to grasp Sienna’s butt and pull against her hips. If she just rotated slightly, their bodies were perfectly aligned.

  She cried out as Sienna’s hand plucked at her nipples which hardened at first touch. Pushing them away, the hands moved lower moving down her own legs and up her inner thighs. Grace found Sienna’s neck with her own kisses, wanting to make her cry out, wanting to see the lust in her love’s eyes.

  Her tongue squeezed Sienna’s ear lobe between her teeth, as now both girls hands were within each other’s legs.

  Grace rolled onto her side, so they could lie breast against breast, the slightest touch against the nipples as fingers moved around and around.

  Grace felt everything she was doing to Sienna being replayed on her body. Fingers plunging, her bud opening to the playful thumb.

  Then, Sienna’s head moved lower, crushing her breast and biting her nipple. Grace wanted to drown as she momentarily went under the water while spasms of desire ripped through her.

  Coming back up and spent, she took control of Sienna, her hands knowing exactly how to please her lover. With one hand behind, grabbing and squeezing her finger tips into the soft cheeks, the other hand continued its task.

  Sienna’s eyes closed, denying Grace the pleasure of watching her. They opened when Grace kissed each eye lid and then licked the side of her face.

  “Now, please, oh, now,” Grace heard the cry she was willing to work for. Pulling Sienna closer with firm hands, firmer touch, her thumb knew exactly where to tweak Sienna to create the explosion of joy.

  Sienna

  She ducked under the water, to smooth back her hair and catch her breath.

  Everything she hoped for had happened – Grace came home, found her in the bath and allowed herself to be pulled into the bath fully clothed. Sienna smiled, after all this time together they could still fuck as if it was their first time!

  “I assume Seth has gone home and isn’t waiting out in the loungeroom?” she teased – although it wouldn’t hurt him to hear their love making.

  “I put him into his car with the contracts and came straight home. I think I’ve put in enough hours over the past couple of days to deserve an early night.” Sienna found the bottle of champagne on the vanity and poured two glasses before rejoining Grace in the bath.

  “Did I remember to say, ‘congratulations’, or that I’m glad you are home?”

  Sitting at each end of the long bath, Grace couldn’t reach out to kiss more than her hand, “I think I got the message.”

  “So, what now?” Sienna asked, the slight head of jealousy returning and wanting to be reassured that Grace remained committed to her.

  “Now, we relax, drink our bubbles, you catch me up on your weekend and we eat that wonderful dinner I saw in the oven.”

  “And then what?”

  “Then,” Grace downed her glass and set it on the floor bef
ore moving back on top of Sienna, “Then we take this party into the bedroom for Round 2.”

  The baked snapper flaked on the fork, with roasted sweet potato, pumpkin and onions covered in sauce.

  “Exactly what we need to keep our energy up,” Grace toasted, “To us and to always.”

  Sienna tried to relax, allowing her fears from the night when Grace disappeared start to fade.

  The world hadn’t come to an end with their visit to Grace’s home town. A couple of Grace’s friends had reached out with plans to come to the city. “It’s time we got to know your girlfriend, too,” they insisted.

  Still, she couldn’t help feeling that part of Grace still belonged to Seth. More than just their shared history together – it was the comfortable way they worked together. Despite not being in the same industry, Grace understood Seth and what he needed. Sienna fell asleep to them finishing each other’s thoughts.

  Grace came home each night emotionally drained and distant – Sienna wanted it to be from the long days and not because of Grace found her feelings for Seth being rekindled.

  Dinner tonight, the whole night planned to say more than, “Congratulations.” She wanted to remind Grace of everything they had, and everything she had to lose.

  Grace

  Grace rubbed her breasts, still tender from the work out Sienna gave them in the bath, on the lounge while they tried to watch television after dinner, and then again as soon as they got to bed.

  It had been a long time since they acted like new lovers, unable to get enough of each other.

  They caught their breath when Sienna’s work mobile rang, and everything changed.

  “I’ve got to go to the hospital,” Sienna was unable to hide the tears streaming down her face. “Connie tried to take her own life tonight and her parents are beside themselves. They want me – no – they need me.”

  Grace stood, frozen in shock as Sienna turned to her, ashen, “Grace, I don’t know what to do!”

  Grace knew as soon as they got to the hospital, Sienna would have pull herself together, but now she needed support. Grace found some comfortable track pants and sweater and threw them at her. She also grabbed a couple of blankets and packed a bag, “Hospital blankets are always so scratchy – they will need these tonight.”

  As Sienna reached out to her work colleagues for advice, Grace made two thermoses of coffee and pulled a tray of date slice from the freezer, “They won’t feel like eating, but I need to do something.”

  In the short drive to the hospital, Sienna filled her in.

  “Connie, she is just a baby – only fifteen. Because she doesn’t have boobs yet and likes her hair short, the girls at school have been teasing her that she is gay.”

  “Is she?”

  “She doesn’t think so, so the school called me in to listen to her. She likes boys but doesn’t think they will ever like her because she thinks she is ugly.”

  “Tell me one fifteen year old girl who thinks she is beautiful,” Grace said sympathetically, “Poor girl. What happened tonight?”

  “I don’t know. Her parents found her, called the ambulance and then called me.” Sienna grabbed Graces leg, her eyes pleading, “What if I let her down? What if I should have done more?”

  Grace stroked her hand comfortingly while focused on finding a car park, “You would have done everything possible, I know you.”

  “But Grace, what if it wasn’t enough?”

  Sienna

  Two days at the hospital put everything into perspective. The love that Connie’s parents had for each other and their daughter humbling and overwhelming to witness. The grief they hid from their daughter, much harder to watch.

  If this was what love and parenthood meant, well, supporting the whole experience reinforced her own feelings about motherhood. Giving birth, raising someone, loving them more than life itself and yet being unable to save them from themselves.

  She watched other parents in waiting rooms argue and struggle to support each other through the most difficult of decisions and medical prognosis.

  Why on earth would anyone who was happy in a relationship sign up for this?

  “Here you go,” Grace handed her a sandwich from the tray to hand out to Connie’s parents and other families in the waiting area.

  “Thanks,” such an under-rated word. Grace had been a marvel. Strong, silent, and going out of her way to make sure Connie’s parents had a constant supply of food and coffee and batteries for their devices. She organized phone calls to Connie’s friends and class mates and ensured the nurses remembered to keep the family informed of Connie’s progress.

  Grace, the practical side to Sienna’s … well she sometimes didn’t know what value she had. Sienna listened to everyone who came to the hospital, she nodded, understood and felt helpless.

  Connie.

  Why would this beautiful young girl decide that she lived enough? Only lucky that this time it wasn’t fatal. Even luckier, her parents were willing to listen to her and not dismiss her concerns and self doubt as “typical teenage hormones.” It almost cost Connie her life, but now her parents were willing to know her as a woman and not as a child, and make sure the school took a harsher stance against bullies.

  “Babe, go home and get some sleep,” Grace insisted, handing her hot chocolate instead of coffee. “You can’t do any more here – get some sleep and remember your other clients. They need you, too.”

  “Don’t you think I know that,” Sienna snapped, the pressure all too much, “Everyone needs me – there isn’t enough of me to go around. I’ve done my best since I’ve been here. You have no idea how many clients I’ve been working with from this damn hospital.” Sienna almost shouted, why couldn’t Grace understand.

  “Babe, I hear you, but you need to get some sleep. Let her parents stay here tonight and be with their daughter as a family. Come back tomorrow and check in.”

  “Stop telling me what to do, what would you know about them or what they need.” Too tired and stressed to think about what she was saying.

  “You don’t have a clue – after all – you’re not a parent.”

  Sienna regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth. She meant to ask for ideas on how to support Connie and her parents, not to throw it all back on Grace.

  “I don’t even …” Grace turned and left Sienna, briefly dropping into Connie’s room to deliver more coffee and then strode down the corridor and out of the hospital.

  Sienna wanted to run after her, but what to say? Instead, she popped into Connie’s room. Connie lay sleeping and her parents startled by another interruption. “Can I get you anything?” she asked, wanting to be useful, needing to be useful.

  “No, we’re fine,” Connie’s father replied, “We just want to be alone with our daughter. We’ll call you tomorrow if there is any change.”

  Dismissed.

  She came as soon as they called, but now the emergency was over, dismissed. Don’t call us, we’ll call you.

  No matter, she had a lot of work to do with Connie’s school. The school insurance company insisted she review and update all policies relating to student welfare. It would keep her busy for at least a month. Then the state education department reached out asking her to roll out some of her support material across all public high schools.

  Professionally, she was in demand, stretched thin and couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that her entire world was about to come crashing down.

  Why did she have to bring up babies – or her desire never to have them. Talk about red rag to a bull.

  Grace

  Her heart went out to the girl, Connie, and her parents. And to the steady stream of friends who paraded through the hospital wanting to see for themselves that she was alright. Grace saw the panic and relief in the eyes of these girls’ parents – all knowing how lucky their family was - it could have been their child, their family.

  Not able to take time off work, she split her days into minutes – working all the h
ours she needed, coming to the hospital during breaks to deliver food and other things ordered by text. She dropped off clothes to Sienna and picked up keys to Connie’s house to make sure the pets were looked after.

  At night, she and Seth talked. Usually about his business, but they fell into an easy friendship. He became a good sounding board for what else was going on in her life.

  Not for one moment did Grace regret staying with Sienna. Choosing their life instead of Seth.

  Until she reminded Grace that she wasn’t a mother.

  Now, she shook as the anger started to slowly build.

  Not once in her entire life did she imagine a life without having children. Always a question of “how many”, not “if”.

  Perhaps she needed to start facing the idea that a life with Sienna would be a life alone with Sienna. No dirty hand prints on the wall, no need for a house with a back yard. No Christmas trees adorned with hand made baubles and cut out paper chains.

  She barely walked in her front door and sent her bag flying across the room when her phone rang. Grace ignored it, Seth normally called around now. The last person she needed to hear from tonight was the man who wanted to give her all the babies she could ever desire. No, she owed a sense of loyalty to Sienna not to talk to him tonight.

  Fifteen minutes later, the phone rang again. Again, she let it go through to message bank. Ten minutes later, the same. Then an email notification came through.

  “G, my main supplier needs to renegotiate payment terms or he will go under. Huge change to cash flow. Need help. Can you come here and help? Now? Please? Urgent. S”

  Grace laughed at the irony – trying to ignore him and he came up with another corporate version of life and death struggle. Bitterly, she though at least she had experience with these issues, unlike parenthood.

  Sienna should understand.

  Having some space away from Sienna might be what they both needed – especially while the hurt from Sienna’s words was still fresh.