Never Second Best Read online

  “He’s my brother. He belongs with us.” Eddie snatched slices of carrot and capsicum before darting back to his room.

  “They are all devoted to each other,” she observed. “It is clear how much the younger children look up to Matthew, and how much you must rely on him around the house.”

  Seth added beef and onion to the hot wok, taking his time to answer.

  “This is a large family going through change. Part of coming to terms with my ex-wife leaving us has been to pull together. Matt has had to step up in some areas to help Owen with his homework. Owen listens to Eddie read and Eddie makes sure Retha has her shoes on the right feet. We are all doing our best.”

  “I’m sure you are, Mr Greenwood. The question I have to answer is whether you are doing the best for Matthew Night.”

  “Lucy, you wanted to see the Matthew Night report?” her secretary placed the file on her desk. “I’m sorry, I know you were hoping for a better result.”

  Working late didn’t fool anyone in her office. She could plead a stack of cases needing to be prioritized and handed out to the field officers, but that would be true any day.

  She had been on tenderhooks all afternoon, knowing a social worker would be paying a surprise visit to Seth. Wanting to call and warn him, but knowing she needed to sit back and let it all play out. If only he had called her to arrange for a game of tennis or to confirm the curriculum for the early intervention program they were designing together … but he didn’t.

  Not to thank her for her text or even to say, “hi”.

  Still, she had every right to ask to see the report from the visit. If only to confirm she could continue placing other kids with Seth when he was ready to take them on.

  Lucy scanned the report. Child is well loved and the family structure remains strong despite the absence of Mrs Greenwood.

  No obvious indicators of harm requiring intervention. Lucy didn’t expect there to be any, Seth was and always had been an amazing and caring man. His adult life dedicated to working with any young man in need. She had a front row seat to him working with young boys struggling to learn to read, boys caught shoplifting and needing an independent male influence to set them straight, to Darby.

  Even all these years later, thinking about how close they came to losing Darby in more ways than one, almost broke her heart. It took some fancy paperwork to arrange for the young man to be placed temporarily in Seth’s care. An extreme yet necessary decision after he refused to support his father sell drugs at his school but one supported by the school and local police who had their own concerns about Darby’s father.

  Lucy had been there in her role as social worker the night it all erupted. Police escorting the father away in handcuffs after threatening his son and attacking officers. She helped Seth complete the guardianship papers only to have Grace turn up.

  The moment she saw Seth’s reaction when Grace arrived answered why it never worked out between them. Lucy never stood a chance while ever he still felt that way about another woman.

  Half way through the guardianship arrangements, Grace became a permanent part of Seth’s life and added her name, first as his partner and then as his wife.

  Darby, had recently come back from overseas serving his country. A credit to himself and to Seth – everything community services should be looking for in a foster family.

  The recommendation of this independent social worker make no sense at all. Had the woman even met the man in the report?

  “Mr Greenwood is struggling as a single father to three young children and relies on Master Night to provide free and frequent baby-sitting support rather than hire a nanny or cleaner.”

  Lucy read on, “It is recommended that Master Matthew Night would be better served if he was placed with a couple who have no other dependent children and who have the time to focus on this exceptional young man.”

  “Get me the Director on the phone,” she called out, already scribbling notes. She couldn’t let Seth lose his son or Matthew lose his family.

  “Hugh, it’s Lucy Dawson. Thanks for taking my call, I know it’s late.”

  “I’ve always got time for you, what do you need?”

  “There is a case I need to provide input on. I can’t make a direct recommendation because I had a personal relationship with the foster father – but you know him.”

  “It’s the Greenwood/Night case, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, they are recommending …”

  “Lucy, let me stop you before you do or say something that hurts your career. I am a long supporter of Seth’s and can’t thank him enough for all the work he has done in the community. But everything changed when his wife left, and we need to look at what is best for Matthew Night.”

  “You can’t just take Matt off him. Don’t you remember how damaged Matt was when he came into care? It took weeks for him to speak to anyone and Seth broke through.”

  “I remember, but my hands are tied.”

  “Give Seth time. Please.”

  “I assume you’ve read the report. What other information can you give me that is material to the decision? Remember, you have a conflict here Lucy.”

  “I’ve been very honest. Seth and I were friends and it went further. We broke up, ages before he married the ex-Mrs Greenwood and had those three beautiful children. We stayed friends and see each other professionally and personally. That’s why you need to listen to me.”

  “You have three minutes.”

  “Seth worked with these kids long before he met me or got married. This is what he loves to do and the boys respond to him, man to man.”

  She took a breath, “When Grace left him, all four kids lived week about. The four of them see themselves as a family – if you could just see them together you’d realize Matt considers them his brothers and sister. As you would after two years together.”

  “One minute.”

  Trembling, she finished, “Any single parent finds the first couple of months difficult. He’s had two weeks since she disappeared, leaving him with sole custody. He’s still probably finding his feet. He needs and deserves time. Damn it, Hugh, Matt deserves time before we rip his family apart again.”

  Lucy ignored the email and phone notifications. “Please, Hugh. I personally vouch for him. Give him time.”

  The seconds pass slowly when lives are on the line.

  Finally, “Lucy, I don’t want to disrupt Matthew Night’s life, but Mrs Grainger is one of my most experienced social workers. I can’t ignore her recommendation.”

  “Please …”

  “I’m not immune to your pleas. Especially the need for time. I find that Mrs Grainger only considered two options – for Mr Night to either remain or be removed.”

  More deafening silence as Lucy silently prayed.

  “Okay, Lucy. A copy of the report was emailed to Mr Greenwood earlier today. I’ve just sent you an updated recommendation that I suggest you drop off to him and explain he has ninety days during which time Mrs Grainger or any other social worker of my choosing can undertake unscheduled welfare checks. At the end of the ninety days, a final decision will be made and recommended to the courts.”

  “Hugh, I can’t thank you enough.” As soon as the email arrived, Lucy sent it straight to the printer and started closing down her computer.

  “Don’t get too close to this,” he warned. “I remember after he left you.”

  “I can keep a professional distance, you’ve known me a long time.”

  “That’s why I’m worried,” he finished, “I have known you a long time and am still a close friend of your brother’s. Go to Seth tonight, tell him what he needs to do over the next three months but don’t offer to do it for him.”

  “I don’t know what you mean …” she did and didn’t want to hear it.

  “Part of you wants to replace the ex-Mrs Greenwood and help Seth by being the new woman in his life. I mean it, Lucy. You have the most beautiful heart of anyone I know and deserve more than to be someone’
s consolation prize.”

  Damn it, she thought as she made her way to her car. Why couldn’t life be simple. That Seth could keep his family without all this drama before waking up one day to realize how right she would be in his life as more than friends.

  Instead, Hugh was right. She needed to keep some distance and perspective.

  An impossible decision.

  The kids were finally asleep, even Matt. Two big tents now set up in the loungeroom with the four camp beds and kids in sleeping bags. Not only did it seem like a fun thing to do, but Matt needed to feel part of the family.

  Neither Matt or Seth knew what to do with the email. Could they appeal? How long would they have before someone came to take him away?

  “What happens if they take me away from you,” Matt asked over again. Seth didn’t want to lie to the boy or give false hope.

  “You’re fifteen, I’m sure what ever happens I will be a part of your life as much or as little as you want. It’s too late to talk to Simon about legal options tonight, but I promise you I’ll call him tomorrow.” Seth didn’t want to tell Matt about all the messages he’d already left for his lawyer.

  “I’ve never had brothers or sisters before. They annoy the crap out of me, but …”

  “I know, we’ll face it day by day.”

  “Dad, I’m scared.”

  Folding the basket of clothes could have been therapeutic if all he had to think about was watching the boys play football as he folded their socks, how cute Retha was in her oversized football jumper as she squealed on the sidelines.

  He loved his kids and every piece of their clothing held special memories.

  Which only made tonight even harder. How could he live without his son? Not born of him, but having chosen each other, the bonds and love were just as strong.

  What he thought was his heart beating was the soft tapping on the front door.

  “Lucy, it’s late and not a good time,” he started before she pushed past him.

  “I know, and I’ve come from talking with the Director about a solution.”

  He followed her into his own kitchen, incapable of even offering her something to drink. His family was being torn apart and he didn’t need well-intentioned friends … wait! What did she say?

  “What do you mean, you have a solution?”

  “Indoor camping?” she asked, lowering her voice when she saw the opening to the lounge area.

  “I hope it doesn’t break any laws. They are all on single camp beds in their own sleeping bags. The email came in while they were brushing their teeth. Camping together was the only way anyone would calm down enough to go to bed.”

  “Seth, I’m so sorry, please tell me what happened when Mrs Grainger came, I don’t understand.”

  “You said you have a solution,” ignoring her question in his urgent need to know if there was any hope.

  “Ninety days, Matt can stay here for ninety days for them to reassess.”

  Too nervous to get his hopes up, “What happens then?”

  “Mrs Grainger or some other social worker will still make some unscheduled welfare checks, possibly a final interview at the end of ninety days, but the good news is they are willing to change their mind if you give them a reason. The Director has even made it so the recommendation can go straight to court which will make it easier if you want to push through with adoption after.”

  “Why would they do that?”

  “I offered them more information, so the Director agreed not to inflict more change on Matt until he got a second or third opinion.”

  Once upon a time, he and Lucy were on the same side. The side of the children and young adults they worked so incredibly hard to save. Now, even though she came baring good news, she still represented to him the devastation of his family.

  “Lucy, it’s late. Thanks for letting me know, but it’s late, I’m exhausted and quite frankly I need time to process what happened.”

  “Sure,” she left as quickly and as quietly as she arrived, dropping an envelope into his hand. “This letter supersedes the email you received earlier. The ninety days starts from tomorrow, which I guess is already today.”

  Seth peaked inside the tents. Four, precious sleeping bodies already struggling to cope with the turn of events.

  He wanted to wake Matt and tell him they had a chance. But really, how could they pull things together in ninety days enough to prove to someone who barely met them, that they were a family that deserved to be together.

  With the kids asleep, Seth left yet more messages for his lawyer. With only three months to turn his life around, it would help to know where to start first? Could he never ask Matt to look after the others – how would that be treating Matt as part of the family? Or should he have had dinner ready by seven? How many dirty dishes in the sink was a crime?

  The enormity of responsibility to himself and his family crushed Seth’s confidence. He could blame the wicked woman for over-reacting to his house and situation in one visit. But with the extra time came additional expectations and pressure.

  The wedding ring tightened around the third finger on his left hand, reminding him of everything he lost and still had to lose. His tears loosened the ring until it rested in his palm. A dull gold, small scratches from the day-to-day activities of life. Once a symbol of infinite love, home and dreams – now a symbol of his past and failure.

  No relief when he put the ring in his sock drawer. He thought out of sight would also be out of mind. It called out, mocking him while he changed, brushed his teeth.

  Holding it again, the tears fell, alternating between anger and grief and he silently screamed all the things he wished he had the opportunity to rage at the woman who inflicted this situation.

  He was a good man, the best husband and father he could possibly be, how could she do this, he cried.

  Finally in the small hours of the morning, he awoke with the ring crushed within his fist. Too soon to put it away, but no longer fit for his left hand. The ring was a little tight on his right hand but would now be the start of him moving on.

  For the sake of his family, he had to pull himself together and find a way.

  If only he knew how.

  Desperate Measures

  Lucy rolled back on her side, snuggling her pillow and wishing sleep would overtake her. After what seemed like hours of rotating from front to back, one side to the other she gave up. Lie awake or get up and face some of the mountains of paperwork requiring her immediate attention. Accept the fact that she couldn’t sleep until she decided what to do about Seth.

  He had no idea how much of herself and her career she put on the line for him. The email from Mrs Grainger arrived before midnight, was quite direct and she could almost hear the clipped judgement in the voice as she read, “I understand that after your personal representation, the Director has decided to leave Master Matthew Night in the care of Mr Greenwood.

  “I would like the record to hold my objection to this outcome and assure you that I will reflect the state of the home, and my unbiased observations during my future visits. You will, of course, be welcome to join me however I would appreciate your prior notice whether you will join in your capacity as his personal advocate and friend or representing the child’s best interest as a departmental worker.”

  Professionally, she was offended at the slight to her credibility. After all these years looking out for kids, how dare Mrs Grainger think that she would put her feelings above the safety and wellbeing of a child!

  Despite how she felt about the father.

  Liked him as a person.

  Respected him as a father.

  Loved him as a man, no she couldn’t think like that. He wasn’t hers to love and never had been.

  She couldn’t be involved, not with a man at the center of an investigation. The most she could be was a friend, if he’d have her.

  Pouring herself a glass of wine in the hope it would make her drowsy enough to get some sleep tonight, she curled up in t
he big comfy armchair with her briefcase of work. Folder after folder of needy children in dire circumstances. Unfortunately, very few of them would find appropriate homes. The more she read, the more she fumed at the idea of Seth not being considered “suitable at this time.”

  What the hell, he was the most giving father, friend, lover …

  All day she had tried not to think of him, which only made things worse. All of the “could have been her.” How different things would have been today if she was the mother of his children. If only he had loved her a fraction of how much she loved him.

  If only he had opened his eyes and seen the life they could have had together.

  She tried to stop herself from continuing the memory. Too many years ago. The warmth of the wine flowed through her, opening her heart and bringing all the memories to the front.

  Yes, it could have been yesterday. As much as she denied it to her friends and to herself, she had never fully grieved because she never wanted to be ready to move on.

  A block of cheese beckoned from the fridge and a half-eaten packet of plain crackers. Whatever was left of tonight, it was the perfect time to indulge in her lost love, relieve the pain and regrets. Not for meeting him and certainly not for falling in love. No, her regrets were all about allowing herself to settle for being second best. And never getting over him even when his ex-girlfriend moved back into town and into his life.

  Despite how she still felt for him, when Grace came back, Lucy took a step back and settled for friendship. She convinced herself that it would be better to be professional and remain friends rather than never see him again. After all, they had so much in common.

  Settling back in her comfy chair, she pulled out the old brochure she kept from the conference when they met. A souvenir.

  “Great talk, I really liked the way you linked the benefits of social media rather than focusing on the risks,” her first impression of Seth was his presence. A goodness, and grace uncommon in a large man. The dirty blonde hair pulled across his face, and twinkling hazel eyes destroyed any hesitation to an innocent coffee. After all, what harm could there be in sharing a coffee with someone who made her body tingle?