Protect Her (Aussie Military Romance Book 2) Read online

  “Thanks,” she took a sip before placing the glass on the floor. The last thing she needed to do was drop it and send shattered glass all over the dark brown office carpet.

  “Lieutenant Mackenzie has arrived back on base. They were able to stabilize him …”

  “He’s alive!” Xanthe jumped up and gave Dr Hunter no option but to hold her while the tears of gratitude fell. “He’s alive, I thought when you called me in here …” she furiously wiped her tears and sat back down as he offered her a box of tissues from his desk. “I’m sorry, that was very unprofessional.”

  “We’re all family here. Some of us closer than others, which is why I wanted to talk to you privately. Mack was seriously injured, and we need to know how great a role we can plan for you in his care and recovery. At this stage, we think we can save his legs, but we still don’t know the extent of his injuries. There’s currently no response from below the waist. You know what spinal cord injuries are like, it’s only been a couple of days and it’s too early to know how much is permanent or whether he’ll get some feeling or movement back.”

  “Oh, poor Mack. When can I see him?”

  “We haven’t been able to contact his parents but his sister is flying back from Germany. Until then we were hoping you could be with him as a friend.”

  Xanthe knew Mack would hope for his sister but wouldn’t expect his parents. They had made their priorities clear years ago.

  “Of course. Whatever I can do.”

  “Now, Miss Davies, let me be very clear. If you are involved with Mack personally, I cannot have you involved in his treatment. A friend, however, can be involved and provide tremendous emotional and physical support.”

  Xanthe heard the unspoken line she needed to tread and forced a laugh. “Dr Hunter, you can ask Charli or Jodi. Mack and I have been hanging out together but I am one of the few women that can say, categorically and with complete certainty, that I have never had sex with Lieutenant Mackenzie.”

  “Well, go and powder your face or do whatever you need to get rid of any evidence of tears and I’ll get a car to go and greet him. I understand one of the nurses briefed him on his condition before a doctor could break it to him more gently. If ever the young man needed a friend, its now.”

  Xanthe accepted the tears and hugs from Charli and Jodi on her way to the car. In a numbed sense of make-believe, she refused to believe in the worst. Mack was alive and all she needed to do was hold it together until she could see him for herself.

  “Give him my love, please.” Her dead eyes saw genuine grief in Charli’s. She needed to look past whatever pangs of jealousy she had for what Mack had meant to her friends and all the other women who were wailing his name.

  “Yeah, of course,” Jodi had found her bag and car keys as she glided down corridors and out to the car park.

  “Xanthe, do you want me to drive?” Jodi still held her keys.

  The question was too complicated and yet too easy. “I’m fine, I just need to see him.”

  Only when she sat in the car seat and the girls had gone back inside did she start to tremble again with the thoughts of how lucky they had been, and yet ... Fumbling to find the ignition, she repeatedly slammed the steering wheel until her hands hurt as much as her heart.

  She barely noticed the door open before Dr Hunter pried open her fingers to take her keys. “Miss Davies, I suggest if you want to ride back here with Lieutenant Mackenzie, that you go and get in the ambulance. The latest advice is he can’t be transported in a normal car or even one of the jeeps.”

  “Okay, how do I look?” The last time Mack had seen her was wearing the black teddy and nipple rings, she couldn’t face him looking disheveled and unkept.

  “Like you are more than just friends. I’ve got you listed as his occupational therapist and friend so you’ll be given complete access to him whenever either of you need. Just remember … friends.”

  Mack

  Rip’s girlfriend appeared at his side, quietly kissing him on the forehead.

  “Hey, Mack. Do you mind if I wait here with you while Rip is outside?”

  “I don’t need a babysitter,” he spat, thankful his head could still ignore people.

  “Apparently, I do. Rip didn’t want me to sit around. He thinks you and I are friends.”

  “We’re not, and I don’t need you sitting here feeling sorry for me.”

  “Why would I do that?”

  “Look, Maddie,” he turned so she could know he was serious. He almost lost his nerve when he saw the raw pity in her eyes. “I’m a big boy and don’t need you to hold my hand. Go get yourself a coffee and your boyfriend will be back to sweep you off your feet before you know it.”

  “Really! First time we met you wanted to throw me in a pool, now you’re throwing me away? Not that easy, soldier.”

  He had to hand it to her, she baited him until he couldn’t help himself but dissect the latest football results. It could have been any other day in the lead up to September.

  The stupid nurse ruined things again, coming back and checking his chart. “The ambulance is here to take you. Again, I’m so sorry for saying … I mean for telling you.”

  “Don’t worry about it, better I know what I’m dealing with.”

  He heard the running footsteps and familiar voice before he could turn to see her. “Mack, oh, Mack!”

  What he wouldn’t give to be about to get up and give Xanthe the hug she deserved. Lift her up and spin her over his shoulder before taking her to the closest bedroom to finish what had been so rudely interrupted. Instead, her eyes told him that whatever he felt was not one sided, well at least not until she knew he was the half-man he joked about.

  “Hey, babe. What brings a girl like you to a place like this?”

  The paramedics started to roll his bed towards the ambulance as Xanthe walked beside him. “Miss Davies has been assigned as your occupational therapist and will be working closely with you during your recovery. Apparently the two of you are friends?”

  “Bruce, can you give us a minute, please?” Xanthe quietly pleaded. Mack watched helplessly trapped on the bed as the paramedics looked him up and down before taking his chart over to get a handover from the doctors.

  “Mack, oh, Mack.”

  “I guess karma is a bitch, eh. One minute I’m joking about you working with half-men and next minute, I’m one of them.”

  “I told you, I see the man. Quick, before they come back, I want one of your kisses.”

  He didn’t have the strength to push her away, savoring the taste of her lips and wishing he felt a stirring, anything. When nothing happened, the first tear welled in his eyes. “I can’t …”

  “Mack, you need to listen to me. They will let me work with you but only if we pretend to only be friends. I was very careful and said that we’ve never had sex. They won’t dare ask what else we have done.”

  “No chance of us doing that now.”

  “Mack, please,” they both saw the paramedics returning. “We have not finished our conversation, do you hear me? This is not over, we are not over. I remember everything you said you want to do to me and I bloody well intend to hold you to your word.”

  “But …” he started.

  “No, you listen to me. No little skirmish is going to get you out of it. Okay?”

  Damn it, he needed to push her away so she could find someone better, someone whole.

  But right now, he was needy enough to be selfish.

  “So you’re my OT? Fine, let’s get to work.”

  Xanthe

  Between her normal caseload and Mack, it was easier to grab short naps on the cot in her office instead of driving home each night. She knew she looked like crap, and probably smelt as well but her day was broken into minutes. So many minutes for each patient, monitoring and listening. Pushing them when they needed and backing off and supporting them when they needed a break.

  Each man was different in his injuries and needs.

  Not so differ
ent in the way they faced their injuries and disabilities. Always the grief, anger and denial. It took all her strength to support the men she saw as men with families, hopes and dreams but came to her as scared and angry clients.

  Then there was Mack.

  She prayed each morning that the new day would be better than the one before, and then each night she gave thanks for having one more day with him.

  “Just fuck off, find yourself a new guy and get the fuck out of my life!” he had yelled at her earlier the day. So upset that one of the orderlies came in and had to settle him down. Dr Hunter suggested she go home and get some sleep, instead she hid in her office to catch up on paperwork.

  The night shift had started and most of the day staff had left for the evening.

  Finally, safe to go back and start again.

  “Mack,” her soft shoes never warned of her arrival at a bedside. “Mack, are you asleep?’

  “I told you to go away,” whichever side she stood, he rolled his head away. He couldn’t have hurt her more if tried.

  “You were also very specific in telling me how much you wanted me and in how many different ways. I remember trusting that you meant it.”

  “I did at the time, but you asked me to give you a reason and I don’t have one any more.”

  “Yes, you do,” she looked around to make sure there were no witnesses. “You can still kiss the panties off me any time you want to.”

  “You also asked if I knew what to do with it, I can’t even feel it.”

  For the first time she heard the glimmer of desperation instead of his normal desolation. Finally, a weakness she could fight head on, if he’d let her.

  “First, give it time. The doctors are hopeful that with a shit load of work, that you’ll get some feeling back.”

  “Some feeling isn’t going to keep you satisfied.”

  “Mack, right now we can’t even think like that. I mean, we need to focus on your recovery and see where we go from there.”

  “I don’t want your pity.”

  “You don’t have it. You have my friendship,” she climbed alongside him on the bed, he could either turn to her or not. “You have my professional expertise, and you have me. Mack, I need you. I’ve barely slept since I got called in, and now with all you guys back here it’s been so busy. If I set my alarm and leave before the first rounds, please can I lie here with you?”

  “What the hell do you want from me?” he cried. She understood his fear and saw it in her own eyes each morning when facing the mirror.

  “I want you to be man enough to hold me like a woman and tight enough so I can fall asleep and dream.”

  Her long legs lay against his, she ached to have them wrap around hers, but needed to settle for the arm that wouldn’t let go. “Xanthe, what am I going to do with you?”

  “How about we figure it out together.” She lightly brushed his hair with her fingertips until he fell asleep. When the orderly came through for night meds, he didn’t judge her for lying on the bed and even got her a spare blanket.

  “Thanks,” she whispered.

  “Are you sure he’s asleep?” Xanthe nodded in time with Mack’s deep sleeping breaths. “Well, Ms Davies this is the first night he won’t be needing some help to sleep.”

  “Really?”

  “Have a good night Ms Davies.”

  Mack didn’t even stir as Xanthe settled down to claim her side of his bed and allowed herself to join his head on the single pillow.

  A silent, “don’t ask, don’t tell,” occurred across the hospital. For the entirety of the night shift, a blind eye was turned to Xanthe who now spent each evening with Mack. From playing cards, reading or setting up their devices to game against each other and teamed up against the world. Or even just lying together, she in his arms.

  It didn’t matter, as long as they were together and as long as she left before the end of the shift. A quick drive home, shower and change, she could be back in under an hour to start her day job. Which included pushing him hard in physical therapy.

  “You know I can’t!” No other soldier yelled at her louder, then again none of her other cases had more to lose, and more to gain.

  “I know that yesterday you couldn’t but neither you or I know what’s possible today. So why don’t you adult up and stop acting like a spoilt child who lost their favorite doll.”

  “Bitch,” his eyes said he was scared of trying and failing, again.

  “You ain’t seen me being a bitch yet, but if you stop trying you will.”

  Another day and another set of exercises and tests.

  “Miss Davies, how is the patient today?” Dr Hunter dropped in during their session.

  “If he’d put as much energy into his exercises as he does in self-pity, we’d be doing better,” she shrugged. No one could accuse her of going easy on any of her patients. Fighting as hard for each one of them as she did for Mack and fighting harder for him than she would for herself. “We are working the rowing machine at the moment to get his balance back. At least we would be if he’d stop whining like a baby.”

  “Doc, the patient can answer for himself,” Mack groaned from his rowing machine. “The patient would be a lot better if he knew that all of this wasn’t a waste of time.”

  “Do you trust Miss Davies here?” Dr Hunter held Mack’s gaze until Mack looked across at Xanthe in a way she hoped her boss didn’t recognize.

  “I guess.”

  “If you don’t, I can have one of the other staff assigned to you. Miss Davies has a large case load of soldiers who can’t get enough of her attention.”

  “No!” Mack pulled himself up again. “Xanth, let’s go. One more set.”

  “That’s more like it.”

  “Miss Davies, can I speak to you for a moment?” Dr Hunter pulled her into the corridor, so they could still see Mack but not be overheard. “The latest scans have come in. The feeling you said he was starting to get back is consistent with the swelling going down.”

  “That’s good, right?”

  “Absolutely. As you know, this has been a wait and see game. While initially we were confident that there were no injuries to the cervical nerves, it was only after he regained consciousness and started moving that we had any certainty.”

  “But then it was about the thoracic nerves – especially when he didn’t have any sensation around his waist or chest.”

  “Right, but as the swelling has gone down, we’ve been able to reevaluate. I’m not in the job of giving patients false hope but I think it is getting safer to say that we are talking lumbar nerves, probably L3 to L5.”

  “Doctor, I can’t believe it,” Xanthe looked back to where Mack was building up his upper body strength, working towards his mobility. Most days, his army training gave him the discipline and resilience to push through his emotional journey, but he was due for a crash and Xanthe wanted to be there.

  “He wants to know when he’ll walk again.”

  “They always do, and it’s the question you can’t answer for them. You know that each injury is unique and the way that a patient responds is as much about their hard work as it is therapy and luck. While he’s seeing improvement, it will give him something to work towards but once it slows down or stabilizes, he’s going to need counselling.”

  “I know, but he refuses to even think about talking to someone.”

  Mack crashed back into the seat, exhausted.

  A light touch on her arm stopped her from rushing to Mack’s side. “When was the last time you had a full twenty-four hours away from this place.”

  She didn’t want to even think after all the days had blurred into one. “I don’t know, I got called in that night and it’s been pretty crazy here ever since.”

  “Xanthe, I’ve seen you on the roster every day for the past two months. Tonight, go home after your shift. I’ll get some of the guys from his unit to swing by and talk guy stuff. They have been giving him space and done another tour, but they’re back now and it�
�ll be good for him to be around other men.”

  “I can’t leave him,” she knew the professional risk in telling her boss but didn’t care.

  “Look, get a good night sleep, take tomorrow off and go shopping, get your hair cut or do whatever girls do on their day off. Go to the gym or read a book. I don’t care. I’m banning you from the hospital for two days.”

  “What!” She didn’t mean to shout, especially when she could see Mack’s frustration at not being able to come to her side.

  “I’ll be straight with you. This is going to be a long road and it’s going to get tough on both of you. I wouldn’t be doing my job as your boss or friend by watching you wear yourself out. We have to take care of the carers.”

  “I’m fine,” she yawned.

  “You look like hell. My word, Xanthe, all your friends here are tip toeing around you not wanting to say the wrong thing but take it from me. You look like crap. If you don’t want to get some sleep for you, do it for Mack. It might be too early to tell, but it shouldn’t be long before he gets his, “confidence” back as a man and he’s going to need some inspiration.”

  “Are you saying …”

  “Yes,” the doctor laughed, “Chances are that you’ll be able to get to know this damn monkey that has all the girls worked up about. If you want to, that is.”

  “What do you mean?” Xanthe couldn’t believe it, the sensation was coming back and he could … She couldn’t wait to tell him.

  His grip tightened around her arm until she saw the concern in his eyes.

  “The Mack that leaves this hospital, and we are hoping to get him mobile enough to leave within another couple of months, is going to be a different man to the one that you, ‘started hanging out with’ before the injury. You might want to think about getting a bit more balance in your life and not make him promises you might regret.”

  Xanthe knew he was trying to look out for her, but she had invested too much of her heart in Mack before the accident and so much more since to walk away.

  “Doctor, thanks, I’ll be fine. If you don’t mind I need to finish this session with him before moving onto my other clients.”