Never Second Best Read online

  “I see,” the judge stared at Darby. Seth was so proud at the young officer standing at attention. “You are?”

  “Corporal Darby Greenwood, sir.”

  “At ease, how do you know Mr Greenwood?”

  Darby handed the judge a red folder.

  “That’s my community service record. You can see that I spent time in juvie, that from the moment dad, I mean, Mr Greenwood took me under his wing, how my life turned around.”

  Seth’s eyes welled with tears as Darby continued, “Not every family comes in the shape of a mum, dad and kids. Not every parent loves the kids they were given, and not every kid gets to pick their parents. Matt and I got handed a lucky break. Seth chose us, and we got to choose him. Now, Matt is lucky because he gets three rascals to call him big brother. And he gets me as his big brother who will kick his arse if he ever gets out of line,” everyone laughed at Matt’s fake horror.

  “You can try, but that uniform won’t save you,” he challenged.

  “Your Honor, read the letters. Ask me any questions you want, but the facts are that Seth Greenwood is an excellent father.”

  “I would like a short recess so I can read some of the letters, and I’ll will have my decision for you shortly.”

  Lucy waited in her home office, not wanting to be around her colleagues or for them to see how personal she had taken this case.

  Mrs Grainger promised to let her know as soon as the judge ruled. She had never pulled a stunt like this, and perhaps breached some sort of privacy.

  All weekend, she worked in John Compton’s office, going through old files and tracking down boys that Seth had helped. The hardest thing was to get them off the phone, urging them that telling their story over the phone wouldn’t help as much as a letter.

  In between calls, John shared stories about the teenage Seth who was always in trouble. The Seth who was arrogant and innocent enough to start a business without financial backing or experience. He believed in himself enough to think it was possible to succeed.

  How when John reached out, desperately wanting to offer a young boy a mentor or lifeline, Seth found his true calling.

  The love John Compton had for Seth was as a father for a son.

  In turn he wanted to know about her relationship with Seth. Questioning why she was prepared to track down all these young men, but wouldn’t take the stand herself.

  “It’s complicated.”

  “The good ones always are.”

  Phone call after phone call she found it difficult to separate the man she loved from the man who … well, what had he done.

  He looked at a photo of his ex-wife. It didn’t take away from the kiss or the way he looked at her.

  She couldn’t bring herself to be there and talk about him, possibly have her own department destroy her credibility as a witness and even her career. Instead, she gave him a once in a lifetime opportunity to see for himself the difference he had made. Hopefully, it would be enough to make a difference in his life.

  “No, I haven’t heard yet. Absolutely, I’ll let you know.”

  Lucy lost count of how many people wanted to know the outcome. So many people cared about Matt, and Seth. About two dozen were heading to Seth’s house to either celebrate or just be there for him.

  “You should be there,” John tried to make her change her mind. “He should know what you did for him.”

  “No, let him have the night with his boys. If he wants me, he knows where to find me.”

  “For an intelligent woman, you are clueless when it comes to men. If you don’t turn up tonight, how will he know that you care.”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Okay, what about all the people who wrote letters because you called them. They all want to meet you.”

  “Leave it, please. I love him, he has never loved me. I don’t want to turn up only for him to look through me as if I don’t exist,” the weekend of stress had taken its toll.

  “Lucy, I hope you change your mind. I think you’ll find that Seth cares a lot more than you think,” John’s final words haunted her.

  With everything else going on in his life, with the surprise party, would Seth know or even realize if she didn’t turn up? Would he even care.

  “Judge ruled .” Twin texts from Seth’s lawyer and Mrs Grainger.

  She opened her bottom drawer and poured a celebratory glass of wine. Allowing the tears to fall unbidden and unrestricted.

  It worked.

  She had given him everything, his family and herself. Now for the real test, if he didn’t need her, would he even call?

  To trust in love?

  The courtroom erupted.

  Darby and Matt lost in the roughest of bear hugs. Two young men who knew what it was like to have a second chance at a family.

  His lawyer and good friend stood off to the side, smiling. “I didn’t see it coming. I didn’t even think.”

  “Why didn’t you warn me?” he threw at Simon. “I thought we had lost.”

  “No one told me, I’ve never seen anything like it. Congratulations, you just gave birth to a fifteen year old boy!”

  “At least he’s toilet trained!” Feeble jokes got the best laughs. Not that he could get a look in with his sons. Now Darby was holding a shaking Matt who couldn’t control his tears of relief.

  Never had he been so proud of his older boys.

  Not flesh of his flesh but still miraculously his own.

  Officially and legally, his own.

  Yet, of all the emotional reactions in the courtroom, it was Mrs Grainger crying and trying to push past his foster sons to hug him that meant the most. His most fierce critic had become his most valued supporter.

  “Congratulations, I’m so happy for you all,” she cried, almost crushing him in her hug. Her normally prim and proper manner giving way to tears.

  “Thank you, I can’t believe you did this!” he tried to find the words. “If you didn’t reach out to Mr Compton, I don’t know what would have happened.”

  “It wasn’t me.”

  “Then who?”

  “You’ll have to ask them yourself. I’m just so happy for you.”

  “Thank you. I know you were only looking after Matt’s best interests.”

  “Well, you changed my mind. I didn’t hold out much hope for you, but you proved to me that a clean kitchen isn’t as important as a happy home.”

  “How can I ever thank you?”

  “Keep doing what you are doing, now if you will excuse me, I have another family to look after,” Seth’s hug was genuine. Actually, he’d go out on the street and hug strangers if it wouldn’t land him behind bars!

  “Seth, my boy, congratulations,” Mr Compton had collapsed onto one of the hard benches in all the excitement. Seth joined him, thinking for the first time how old his teacher had gotten.

  “Mr Compton, how did you?” he started.

  “Phone call by phone call, Lucy pulled the names out of my files and together we rang everyone we could find.”

  “Lucy?”

  “She couldn’t be here today but wanted to make sure you had what you needed.”

  Needed, yes. Wanted, only partially.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Lucy Dawson found me on Saturday morning – my name must have been in one of your files. She told me what you needed and we got all the files out of archives and started making phone calls. It took some work tracking some of the young men down, but she was relentless.”

  “Yeah, when she gets something in her head, she won’t let go.”

  “So don’t let go of her,” the twinkle in the old man’s eyes belied his age.

  “I’ll try not to but it might not be up to me.”

  “Dad, can we go home now?” Matt extracted himself from looking at photos from Darby’s posting. “Can you come with?”

  Darby tussled his hair, “Sure, someone’s gotta keep you in line. I don’t have to go back for a couple of hours.”

 
“So soon?”

  “Yeah, but at least I’ll catch up with some of the guys at the party.”

  “Party!” Matt’s tears were long gone and the idea of a party had him jumping up and down. “Where?”

  “What party?” Seth struggled to keep up with what was happening. Nothing about today had been what he expected. Thank goodness.

  “Uncle Joe is organizing a party at your house. Anyone who can get there will be, to celebrate this crazy guy joining the family.”

  “You did this?” Seth hugged Darby again.

  “Nah, seems like you got a new crazy woman to love you. She sure talks you up.”

  “Lucy.”

  “Yep, that’s the one. I’d better go, Grace wanted me to let her know how things went – unless you want to call her.”

  Matt backed away, “She’s not my mum anymore.”

  Seth shook his head, “I don’t need to talk to her, but I’m glad she cares how it went.”

  “Yeah, well, she’ll always be my mum.”

  “That’s the way it should be, mate. I hope that one day Matt will feel the same.”

  “Dad, Matt has been pretty cut by what she did. And she doesn’t have the same history with him as she does with me. They’ll sort it out but its gonna take time.”

  “Time together is what we have, thanks to you.”

  “Nah! I got a couple of hours off work. What’s with you and this Lucy broad?”

  “I wish I knew. She was the social worker that helped you when your dad was taken away.”

  “Oh! I remember her. I had a crush on her back then but she only had eyes for you.”

  “You did, did you?” Seth laughed. “Well, eyes off her now.”

  “Well shape up and make an honest woman of her or I’ll be the one making a phone call. I wonder if she likes younger men in uniform!” Darby ducked out of the way as Seth threw a playful punch.

  “Is she coming to the party?”

  “Depends, are you going to ask her?”

  That was the question. He didn’t want to call Grace who would probably take his call if only to lessen her guilt. The woman he wanted to call was Lucy, but how could he make her believe what he wanted to say?

  As large as his house was, within hours it was crammed with people. Friends, family and men he hadn’t seen in years, introducing him to their own families.

  “Why didn’t you tell us, we would have been there!” Seth didn’t realize how many friends he could have called on these past months.

  “Where is this wonderful Lucy?” seemed to be the common question. She had certainly made an impression on his former charges and he only wished he knew if she was running late, or not coming.

  Until then, every ring of the doorbell had his heart racing only to be disappointed.

  “Congrats, CU soon,” instead of a message from Lucy, it was a cryptic message from his ex-wife. He couldn’t deal with her right now and tossed his phone onto his bed. Work emergencies could wait another day, and with all kids home he didn’t need to worry about them.

  The only person he wanted to call was Lucy, and the later the day got the less likely it was she would call or turn up.

  “Sorry daddy,” he’d been holding Eddie and wore the impact of spilt juice.

  “No probs, sport. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

  “Here, let me,” Matt took his brother to get changed while Seth escaped to the quiet of his bedroom.

  Peeling off the wet shirt, he splashed cold water on his face and cleaned himself off. “What the hell happened?” he asked the mirror.

  Almost twelve months ago, his marriage evaporated beneath him. He tried to fight for it until finding out he didn’t stand a chance. She had already moved on and he was the last to know.

  Then three months ago, his little family had been threatened. They had lived with the threat every day, not knowing when the next welfare check would happen. Retha’s nightmares about her brothers being taken away. Owen and Eddie refusing to sleep in separate rooms.

  Yet at the same time, they had grown together.

  His family was safe and he had looked at his life and made the changes that would make things work for them.

  A new office manager took a lot of the administrative stress out of his life and gave him more time at home. He had custody of the kids, and now he could get Simon to start adoption proceedings for Matt.

  He picked up the photo-frame from his bedside, the five of them kayaking. Leaving behind the wedding ring he forgot was hidden behind the frame.

  Seth picked up the cold metal. It didn’t belong to him anymore, it didn’t even belong in his house. Maybe, one day, one of the kids might want it – even to melt down for something meaningful.

  He snuck outside to the garage to find the box of wedding albums and other keepsake the kids may someday want. Reaching over, he opened it enough to push the small box with the ring in it through a hole, hearing it trickle down past the objects he couldn’t even remember until it rested somewhere near the bottom.

  A weight fell from his shoulders. Surely, nothing could stop the rest of his life from being perfect. It was the day for miracles.

  “Where have you been?” Jo swung him around. “It’s fabulous news.”

  “Outside and yes. Is she coming?”

  “Who?”

  “Lucy, of course.”

  “Look, I heard she organized references for you, but I don’t think she is ready to face you yet. Give her space.”

  “I’m sorry, Jo. I can’t do that.”

  It took him hours to try and call her. By the time he did, she let it go through to voicemail and was too scared to listen. What would it say? A simple, “thanks”, well that would be insulting. “Couldn’t have done it without you,” well, yeah. In no world would it be, “Lucy, let’s start over.”

  Better she not listen, than for her to raise her hopes only to hear his insincere platitudes.

  Ever since the decision came down, message after message came from Seth’s former mentees. Some she answered but after a while she let them go through to the answering machine as well. They were either calling to thank her because they heard the news or wanting to meet her at the party Seth was throwing.

  Part of her wanted to go, hide amongst the crowd. Thank John Compton for all his help and see Darby again. Hug Matt and the little kids and try not to wish they were hers.

  What if Seth tried to kiss her again? In all the excitement of the day, he could forget how things ended the other night and she would be powerless to stop him.

  Ahhhhh, an impossible choice made even more difficult with her phone bleeping with new calls or messages every five seconds, or so it felt.

  Desperate for emotional peace, she turned off her phone and threw clothes into a bag. She could at least get away for a few days – surely Hugh would agree to her taking leave. No time to figure out where to go, she would drive until she couldn’t face another mile and find a hotel or caravan park.

  If she stayed here, she would go to him and it would start the hurt all over again.

  The small camera booth photos fell out of her bag. Taken when she and Seth started dating. They had left work at lunchtime on the Friday and driven five hours all because he had promised to win her an oversized teddy bear at a country fair.

  Spending almost one hundred dollars at all the different events, he finally won a fluffy black bear almost half her size. She had joked that he could have bought one for a fraction of the price but he assured her that the thrill of the chase was just as important as the prize.

  Lugging the bear around, laughing and at least for Lucy, falling in love. Seth impulsively pulled her into a photo booth and smothered her in kisses as the camera clicked away. She kept the photos, once a bookmark in her journal and now folded in her wallet. Evidence that at least once upon a time, he wanted her.

  Once upon a time, she knew and accepted he loved someone else. It wasn’t okay, but yet it was.

  Now, older, Lucy wished to be wiser. S
he watched him love his family and couldn’t help but want to be the one he turned to. Not because she could help him, but because she completed him in the way she knew he completed her.

  She deserved better. Her friends said it, colleagues and even her boss said it. As Lucy zipped up the bag, she knew that she loved Seth but would not be a surrogate mother to his children. Or be a surrogate to his heart.

  A quick email to Hugh, “Need to get away for a few days. Hope you understand.” Lucy put her laptop and phone away in the wardrobe. No need to take them with her, she would only be tempted to reach out and do something stupid.

  Perhaps it was even time to find a new job in a new town or city. A completely fresh start couldn’t be considered a coward’s way out, could it? Not if it was about self preservation, running away from her own vulnerability to him, before she let him destroy her.

  As she started to back down the driveway, a ute pulled up, blocking her path. It could only be, Seth!

  Winner takes it all

  “Seth!” she whimpered as her car came to a stop. Blocked by the one man she wanted to see yet desperate to avoid. In one motion he leapt from his car and pulled open her door.

  For a moment she waited for him to say something. Instead he searched her face. The longer the gaze the softer his eyes as they had a conversation with her own. Curious until he looked past her to the packed bags on the back seat.

  Gently, he held out his hand until she had no choice but to stood in front of him, partly leaning against the car doorframe. Faces only fraction apart, he brushed her fringe from her eyes.

  Lucy felt their hearts beating rapidly in time. One kiss. If he kissed her once there would be no turning back. She would give herself to him and damn the consequences. In this minute, it didn’t matter if he never stopped loving Grace, she could love him enough for both of them.

  Still, she gave a soft moan as his lips found hers. Stealing kisses until she couldn’t resist.

  “You weren’t at the party,” he stopped to draw breath.