Never Second Best Read online

  “I needed to go somewhere.”

  “Where?” as he reached in to remove her bags. “You don’t pack light.”

  “I don’t know, I just had to leave.”

  He cupped her face, staring her down until she had to believe, “No, you don’t.”

  “But, Seth …” one last chance to save herself for someone who could put her first.

  “No arguments,” he led her to her own front door. “We need to talk,” he said as she fumbled with the lock. Turning into him as the door opened behind her, she was the one to kiss him first this time. His soft yet hungry lips igniting a fire within. For years she watched him love another and their one recent night together had given her a taste of needing more. Damn her for all tomorrows, Lucy wanted to pretend she could be loved by Seth even if it was only for one more night.

  Bodies pressed against the door until they crashed through. Lucy gave up any pretense of pushing him away, ripping off his shirt and her own before he could change his mind.

  “Don’t want talking, want you,” she panted, giving into her desires. Shoes kicked off in the hall way, he pushed her hands away to remove his pants quicker than she could manage.

  “I want you in my life,” she shivered as he ran his hands down her bare back. “Whatever I did to hurt you, I’m sorry and I want to kiss it all better.”

  “Don’t say things you don’t mean, just …” she drew her own fingers down his chest. “Stop talking and keep kissing me like you mean it.”

  “Why should my lounge have all the fun when you have a perfectly good one here,” he eased her back onto her own lounge, she allowed him to spread her legs before his head disappeared between them. “And what do I have to do to convince you?”

  Long, luscious strokes, his tongue filling her as she cried out. Reaching out to hold him she barely caught the tip before he pulled away.

  “Do you believe me yet?” he asked, coming up for air.

  “No,” she smiled as he dived down again. Time after time, he bought her to the brink only to stop and ask the same question.

  “Believe me?” Oh, she wanted to. More than anything she wanted to believe that this time could be different.

  “I want to,” in case he changed his mind, she wanted more to remember him. One last time feeling their bodies moving together in sync.

  “What will it take?” there was the cheeky smile she could never get enough of.

  “More than your tongue,” smiling, he climbed up her body, kissing her stomach, her breasts before reaching her neck and mouth.

  As their lips joined, she finally felt him slide into her and accepted, no matter what she believed about him, she knew she could never, not love him. Perhaps that would be enough.

  “Come back to the party with me, please.” Holding her on the lounge, he didn’t want to let her go, not even to get dressed. He needed some sort of commitment from her that she wasn’t going to push him away again over a stupid photo.

  “I can’t.”

  “I don’t accept that,” he blew a kiss over her nipple, watching it harden. “What else do I have to do for you to believe me?”

  “Seth, this is all happening too quickly. I need to get away and give us both time to think.”

  “Again, I can’t and won’t accept that. Don’t you think we’ve waited far too long as it is?” she shivered as he traced his fingertips down her side. “Tell me that you don’t want me.”

  “You know that I do, I always have.”

  “So don’t push me away now. Let me show you how much I love you.”

  “Seth,” she stroked his jawline, her fingernails scratching against his stubble. “Today we’re caught up in the moment. Let me go away for a few days and give you time to think.”

  “I’ve been thinking, every day since you left my bed over the stupid photo. Come to the party and meet all the guys. Even if you don’t want to come for me,” he lay on top of her, “Although, I’d be very happy if you want to again!”

  “Seth!” she started, “Oh, Seth.” Lucy moaned under his touch until she pulled him to her again. “Oh, Seth,” small whimpers as he rose to the occasion, making sure the lady came first.

  “Come to the party with me before you give me a coronary!”

  “I don’t have anything to wear!” she teased, stretching back in her blissful state.

  “Who said you had to wear anything at all?” Confident she was no longer thinking of leaving him, he helped her up. “Although I can’t be responsible for my actions if you look like this.”

  “Give me five minutes,” she handed him her packed bag, “Can I assume it will be a sleep-over?”

  “Hell yes,” he swung her around. Truly this was the best first day of his life!

  His absence had not gone unnoticed with Darby the first to notice his return.

  “So, is this the crazy woman who tracked us all down?”

  “Hi, I’m Lucy,” she started before being swept up in a surprise bear hug.

  “I remember you. Back then I was too young for you to date, but if this old man ever forgets his place, you give me a call, okay?”

  “I won’t let him forget it!” she laughed as Darby put her down. “Where is the man of the hour?”

  “Lucy, glad you could make it,” by now, John Compton treated her as an old friend. “Seth, I assume you have come to your senses when it comes to this young lady?”

  “Absolutely, sir,” she shivered as kisses flooded her neck. “I’ve been waiting for her to notice me.”

  To Lucy he whispered, “Is it too soon for me to want you again?”

  She giggled, her whole world turned upside down in the most amazing way. “How about you introduce me to your friends.”

  “This is my girlfriend, Lucy Dawson.”

  “This is my partner, Lucy.”

  “I believe you spoke to my partner, Lucy the other day.”

  Each time he introduced her it felt new and fresh and she couldn’t stop smiling with, well if it wasn’t love it was close enough.

  “Someone changed her mind!” Joanne hugged her in greeting. “He is glowing and not just from the court case.”

  “Maybe I had my mind changed for me,” she looked sheepishly towards Seth who was being dragged into another conversation but refused to let go of her fingertips. “Not that I’m complaining.”

  “You look happy,” Jo squeezed her hand. “Trust him, he loves you.”

  “I still have questions, but …” she stopped when John Compton rejoined them. Over his shoulder she saw the photos.

  The frame with his ex still had prize position on the shelf. What did that mean for her? Even though she could still feel him all over her, the jealousy refused to die. With evidence all around, Grace’s photo, Grace’s children. Questions for another day. In any case, she had already decided as long as his ex-wife stayed out of his life, she would try and live with her insecurities.

  The best night of his life.

  His children finally believed that Matt wouldn’t be leaving them. Wanting one last night camping in Retha’s room, promising that tomorrow they would all return to their own bedrooms.

  Matt would be safe. Already the shadow that had engulfed him was gone and he divided his time between the kids and Darby whom he had always looked up to.

  Darby! Oh my, he couldn’t be more proud of the young man he had become. Actually, the house was full of amazing young men who had their lives ahead of them. Each one needed to introduce him to their partner or the others, describing the difference he had made in their lives.

  How could he explain the privilege was all his. To have them all here. Humbling, noisy and a night he would never forget.

  Then there was Lucy. It didn’t bare thinking what would have happened if he had turned up any later, not able to stop her from leaving. It might take a lifetime for him to convince her to trust him, but she would be worth the effort.

  Hours later and the party was still going strong. Everyone wanted to meet the “wonde
r woman” who pulled off the impossible reunion of sorts. More than once the young men joked he was punching way above his head and thanked Lucy for bringing them all together.

  Not once did Seth leave her side, showering her with kisses and embraces in front of all his nearest and dearest.

  “Babe, it’s time to put the kids to bed, wanna join me?” She wasn’t a surrogate to anyone, he wanted her by his side and for the kids to see them together as a couple. Too soon to ask, but perhaps there would be an opportunity to add to their family. Beautiful brunette babies with blue eyes like their mother.

  “How are you at reading bed time stories?” he teased.

  Squeezing his hand, “Try and stop me.”

  The three of them were bunked in Retha’s room. “We don’t like being alone,” Owen patiently explained to Lucy.

  “Neither do I,” she admitted.

  “Now you have daddy,” Eddie chimed in.

  “I certainly hope so,” as she relaxed on the side of the bed, Seth gave a silent prayer of thanks. Maybe, just maybe they could all live happily ever after together and his children could trust that their family wouldn’t be torn apart.

  After “one more book,” a tickling match was in full force when Joe knocked on the door.

  “Mate, you have a visitor,” Seth’s initial annoyance at being disturbed gave way at the confusion on Joe’s face. “Did you expect …”

  “Mummy!” Retha squealed, jumping out of bed and running past Seth, Lucy and pushing past Joe to her mother.

  “Grace, what are you doing here?”

  “I told Simon that I’d take them off your hands this weekend. Whether you needed time to celebrate, or whatever.”

  “He didn’t tell me.”

  “Well, I’m here now.”

  Grace looked Lucy up and down while picking up her daughter as Owen looked torn between the two women.

  “Daddy, what’s happening?”

  “You’re coming with me for the weekend,” his blonde mother answered. Each word cutting Lucy like a samurai sword, swinging fast and sharp without mercy. “How about we go and see grandma and bake some cookies?”

  “What about daddy and Lucy? We’re going to be a family?” Owen cried. “Can they come too?”

  Lucy felt the ice in Grace’s smile, “I guess if you wait long enough, anything can happen.”

  “Grace, that’s a bitch thing to say, even for you,” Seth snarled as Lucy pushed away his hand, barely avoiding a collision with Joe in her rush out the door.

  It had been a mistake, or a set up. Either way, she couldn’t wait to get home to her car and get the hell away from here.

  “Lucy, wait,” Seth left his children in their mother’s arms, catching her before she made it down the hall. “I didn’t realize, I thought … I don’t know what I thought. I didn’t realize she was coming.”

  “Convenient. Have me here to make her jealous!”

  “What! No.”

  “I suppose that little thing we did at my house was only the icing on the cake for you. To get me in the mood for the main event which is always Grace.” She shook her head at him, trying to push him away, “Everything you have ever done has been about Grace, why would today be any different. I’m a bloody fool. Yet again.”

  Her proud eyes refused to cry.

  “You’re wrong. Today, tonight, tomorrow. I want it to be about us. This is our family and she doesn’t even count anymore.”

  She wanted to believe him, his eyes looking earnestly into her own.

  “You still have her photo.”

  Seth knew how to prove a negative, “You beautiful, wonderful woman, come here.”

  “Dad, Grace is in with the kids …” Matt interrupted.

  “I know, can you help them pack. I’ll be back to say ‘good bye’. It’s only for the weekend. She’s taking them to her mum’s house.”

  “Sure.” Matt sized up the situation, “I might even tag along with them, if Grace is up for it.”

  “Thanks, whatever you want,” Seth said automatically, his focus on keeping Lucy from leaving.

  Gripping her hand as if his life depended on it, Seth pushed their way past other guests to the mantle piece.

  “What do you see.”

  “Seth, don’t.”

  “I mean it, what do you see?”

  “Photos, I see a stack of photos of your family.”

  He picked up a small frame, “Retha sleeping in her cot for the first time.” Another, “Owen’s first day at school.” Then, “Eddie kicking his first football that Santa gave him.”

  He saw realization finally dawn on her, “And this?” she asked, picking up the frame of two people but celebrating one important milestone in his son’s life.

  “Owen’s first ride without training wheels. He was so scared that day and it took about half an hour of convincing him before he let me even loosen them. Once he realized he didn’t need them anymore, he couldn’t stop smiling and I’m so lucky I had the camera ready.”

  “It’s not about Grace?”

  “It hasn’t been about her for the longest time. Only you, if you’ll have me.”

  “I don’t know,” she said, pulling away as the guests started to thin.

  “Stay, please stay, at least until everyone leaves and we can talk.”

  “I want to believe you.”

  “Until you can believe me, at least believe in us.”

  “I’m trying.”

  All his kids left with Grace, even Matt. “I expect to have a new mum by the time I get back,” he nodded towards Lucy.

  “Don’t be cheeky.”

  “Don’t screw it up!”

  “Mate, I’m trying not to.”

  One by one, his friends and family left until he wandered through the house looking for Lucy. Surely, she hadn’t slipped away without him noticing?

  “You had me worried,” he finally found her sitting on the kid’s swing in the backyard. “I thought you left me.”

  “I needed some space, has everyone gone?”

  “It’s only you and me,” he knelt between her legs pulling her towards him until their lips met.

  “Seth,” she gasped. “Haven’t you had enough?”

  “Never! I’ve had hours to recover, unless you need more time.”

  “I think I can handle whatever you have,” she teased.

  “What did I say before about less thinking and even less talking,” he tipped her off the swing onto him as he lay on the soft grass. Holding her body tight against him, he groaned as her passion met his own.

  “No more distractions, it’s only us. I can’t offer you much more than a crazy, insane life with four kids who already adore you.”

  “What about their father? More importantly, how about their mother?”

  “Their father adores you more than you could possibly know. He remembers that you don’t believe that just yet but is willing to work very hard to prove it to you every day.”

  “How do you intend to do that,” her voice husky with desire.

  “Making sure every one of your wishes is my command,” he hoped she was as ready as he already was. What a crazy, insane day this had been.

  “Here?” she sat up, hands playing on the top of his jeans.

  “I don’t want to waste another minute,” he helped her release and then slide down him, closing his eyes to savor the sensation. So silken, like slowly slipping into a warm bath.

  He didn’t care if she didn’t love him back, as long as she gave him the opportunity to try.

  “Come here, you,” he whispered, leaning up to kiss her as they made love in the darkness of his back yard.

  This time, instead of bringing them closer together, as soon as they were finished she rolled off and straightened her skirt.

  “Well, you’ve proven you can be ready for anything, any where, but what does that mean for us?”

  “Ask me anything,” he following her inside frustrated at her ability to yet again go from passion to insecurity q
uicker than he could keep up. Then again, he hadn’t made it easy for her.

  “How do you know that this is right for you,” he could feel her wanting to back away as she did before. This time he had to stop her if only long enough for there to be no misunderstandings between them.

  “I know. I just know. What about you?”

  “I told you I loved you years ago and that hasn’t changed.”

  “What do you want me to say,” he pleaded. “I didn’t love you then, but I do now.”

  “You don’t get to say that, not yet. I’ve never stopped loving you. I tried to forget you, tried to date other people.”

  “Luc, I love you now.”

  “I don’t believe you,” she stood in front of him, wanting to be convinced.

  Damn it, he thought, if the last few hours couldn’t make her believe, what would.

  “I love you,” she backed away as he tried to hold her. “Seriously, what will it take to prove it to you?” he tried to flirt.

  “Where’s your wedding ring?”

  “What?”

  “Your wedding ring. It took forever before you put it on your other hand, now where is it? Your bedside drawer? Is it anywhere in your bedroom?”

  “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” Thank goodness he had come to his senses earlier in the day. She would never have trusted him if he hadn’t.

  “Then show me.”

  “Only if you promise to believe me.”

  Hand in hand, he led her to the garage. Past the boxes of old books and tools. Past the car parts to the back. Luckily, he still remembered the complicated path from before.

  “You expect me to believe it is here?”

  “Prepare to get dirty,” he handed her boxes to move out of the way. It was far easier throwing the ring in, than getting it out.

  Finally, he could lift the box onto the garage floor, placing it next to the old station wagon he intended to do up with his sons.

  “Stuff the kids might want one day. Old wedding albums, old photos of their mum, birthday and Christmas cards. The stuff I want to keep around me is still in the house.”

  “So?” he sensed she was softening as he reached around hoping he was feeling in the right spot. The box was small, insignificant and almost impossible to find in between the paper cards. Just as he started to panic that he was looking in the wrong place, he found it.